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[Music]

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when I started having a drinking problem

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and I went cold turkey and I developed

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massive cravings so I went from being

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just sort of a social drinker to a

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heavier drinker to then a binge drinker

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because when I relapsed from that

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sobriety I I would just binge and then

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go sober again so it that turned into a

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completely different style of drinking

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which is a different alcohol use

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disorder binge drinking in sorry at its

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worst before you sought help how bad was

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it oh I would if well the its

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progressive so so the the binges would

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get worse my my last horrible binge was

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I had to go to a medical detox because I

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didn't know back then that it wasn't

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it's not safe to go cold turkey you

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should taper off of alcohol and I didn't

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know that so I would just always go cold

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turkey and suffered this particular time

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back in 2009 I suffered really bad

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withdrawal and sort of went into the DTS

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and lost muscle control and things like

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that so I went to a medical detox so

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that was the that was the worst you know

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does that mean that was a 30-day rehab

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no no no no that was just a I went into

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a medical detox place that my insurance

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would take they gave it was a horrific

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experience for me they were they just

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treated you like crap and it was very

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demeaning and and the people there had

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no compassion whatsoever where was it

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here in Tarzana and this is what type of

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this is a County a medical it's a

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medical detox that happened to be

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covered by my insurance and you just go

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in there you fill up even though you

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think you're about to die and you're

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shaking so hard that and you're puking

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they won't let you touch your belongings

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to get a sweater they make you fill out

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paperwork before giving you you know

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oodles of paperwork before even helping

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you calm down from the physical think

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withdrawals that you're going through

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somebody bring you in there

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I had a friend drive me of course yeah I

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had a friend drive me over there and I

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left the second I didn't mean I also

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didn't know about medications that could

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help you to calm down and to not maybe

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go into a complete stroke you know I

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didn't know any of

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I really was naive believe it or not but

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but you can die from this you can die

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from this yes you can you can die from

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withdrawal from from alcohol opiates

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from from many things but particularly I

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did not know how bad it could be with

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alcohol nobody ever told me I didn't

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read Hamm's I didn't know that you

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should taper off a low alcohol thing and

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slowly detox your body I would just go

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oh gosh I can't do this anymore and I

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just stopped and it was very dangerous

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that particular time once I got the

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medication I don't even know what they

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gave me maybe a trazadone or valium or

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whatever the heck they used in those

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places the second it hit my system I

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checked myself out and I said I can't

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stay here it was awful

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you saying that I just checked myself

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but the drug hitting your system

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whatever was the drug hit my system and

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I stopped shaking oh I said okay I'm out

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of here because they're not helping me

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whatsoever this is I'm just checking

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myself out it wasn't one of those things

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where they lock you up or anything like

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that you you know you're it's voluntary

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it wasn't like I was passed out I was

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fully comprehensible I was just

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suffering physical results of and so

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then where did you go next for treatment

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well then I stayed as always I had a

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long bout of sobriety and what was

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sister you was at AAA no I did 17

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meetings in two countries I didn't

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respond to a meetings made me want to

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drink I didn't want to sit there for the

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rest of my life identifying as an

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alcoholic that would be like me

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identifying as a cancer victim or oh hi

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I'm Claudia of leukemia hi I'm Claudia

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have leukemia

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I think words are extremely powerful I

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wanted alcoholism to be behind me not in

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front of me every single day I know you

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refer to it for yourself as alcohol use

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disorders what you have as the reason

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the reason why that has nothing to do

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with 12-step programs and by the way I

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have nothing against 12-step programs

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the only thing that they say is you have

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to have the desire to quit drinking to

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attend a meeting so I don't see why

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people can't use medication while their

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if their if their main goal is sobriety

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then there's no reason why anybody can't

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attend an AAA meeting and take a camper

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state for cravings or take naltrexone to

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slowly diminish their cravings and to

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stop drinking there's no reason why you

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can't mix Matt with a a but that's a

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whole nother story but for me I didn't

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like it and then I tried a regular rehab

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and it had no effect on me what

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so ever in fact once again alcohol

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deprivation effect you're in a false

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environment you're paying thousands of

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dollars so your guilt was your right

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your inpatient 30-day cut I went to I

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went to a 30-day and and it was it was

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just a 12-step program so why pay for it

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I paid thirty thousand dollars to sit

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there that was beige or something up

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north Northern California

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I can't remember Bay recovery Bay Center

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and just give us a little insight into

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your 30 days there what are you doing on

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a day to day basis tai chi and hang out

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with girls who are sneaking out and

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getting alcohol and go to a gym which is

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right next to a liquor store with nobody

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watching you you have a therapeutic

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session where they label you as

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narcissistic and an anti-social which

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every single addict whether they were

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methadone or heroin or opiates or

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alcohol or bulimic they were all labeled

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exactly the same we all compared

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afterwards so okay so that was sort of a

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one-size-fit-all that all addicts are

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narcissists and they're all she actually

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dragged out the war shot that the

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drawings I mean that the [\h__\h] would

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hirako the the butterflies and Dragons

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and all that stuff war shock yep so

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that's what tell us what this yes she

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dragged out those but then it was just a

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somebody with a you know a certain

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amount of sobriety under their belt that

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is called an addiction specialists you

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know because they've been sober for ten

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years but you know on the narcissism

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thing it does strike me and I haven't

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this hasn't come up in our show yet that

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people who are addicts they they're they

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are very focused on themselves I think

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because they're not feeling good right

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and when you don't feel good it's hard

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to think about other people so is that

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that's such a that's that's like saying

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somebody who's suffering from breast

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cancer is narcissistic yeah because

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they're focused on their recovery that's

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just [\h__\h] right sorry they don't

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suffer from narcissism for instance like

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that's our president does but what I

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mean is during the the time that you

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have the addiction problem you might

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exhibit narcissistic type behaviors

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because you are very focused on yourself

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but it's not you it's not being focused

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on yourself it's a compulsive brain

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disorder I don't know if you've ever

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suffered from any addiction but if you

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have do you know what exactly what I'm

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talking about whether it's that's like

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you know you tell a bulimic to stop

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throwing

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good luck with that it's a compulsive

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behavior you know that what you're doing

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isn't rational but there's no way you

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can stop it

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like you tapping your leg know it so in

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other words if you walk in the in the in

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the shoes of an addict do you understand

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that that I'm not

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I didn't choose a bottle of wine over my

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mom I didn't choose a bottle of wine

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over my boyfriend I wasn't being selfish

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it's not a selfish behavior it's your

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cue it's like somebody takes over your

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brain

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somebody's hijacked you to the outsiders

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it looks old of course it looks selfish

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and that's one of the biggest problems I

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have when I when I deal coach couples is

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that the spouse will say well they're

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choosing alcohol over me and I have to

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explain to them addiction is not a

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rational behavior

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you can't rational with it you can't

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reason with it did you see the movie

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beautiful boy I did yes that that movie

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really bothered me because the father

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didn't react properly to the son I don't

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think he was like oh son you're choosing

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this over me not recognizing that hey

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this is a serious problem dealt with

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seriously they show kind of the

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ineffectiveness of a in these rehabs and

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so on but at the end of the day the

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closing credits where they kind of give

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you the update and stuff it's basically

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Oh

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millions of people suffer from this

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problem help is available go seek help

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that's it yes show us the two hours how

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ineffective these different rehab things

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but then they give you no solutions

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whatsoever no well I was really

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disappointed by that III know that

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they've been doing small experiments

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with opiate antagonists for meth

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addiction but once again because we are

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in such a 12-step based you know that is

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what people immediately react to all of

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these various medically assisted

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treatments really aren't spoken about as

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much but let me let me say something

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positive here and that is that when I

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started this in 2009 I only knew of one

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doctor in the entire United States when

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it to get back to the story to finish

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that up after I got out of that detox

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treatment

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I started I grabbed a flyer there and it

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was for the shot vivitrol so I went home

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and I googled it and I and I and I

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looked it up and I found dr. Royce

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coppice book which is soo rather grandly

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named the cure for alcoholism and I

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started reading the free pages excerpts

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from that and and I I it made sense I

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come from a family of doctors and

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researchers and it dead scientists and

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that really made sense to me so I

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ordered naltrexone from some place in

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India and tell me where did you find the

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flyer in that in the rehab facility so

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just like a stack of lawyers I took them

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all I took I took a stack for for this

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meeting smart recovery AAA meetings and

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all this stuff and then there was one

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that said cravings for alcohol question

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mark get the vivitrol shot but that was

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twelve hundred bucks a month and when I

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called that Tarzana place they never

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returned my call probably because I left

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early or something so I ended up

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researching myself and that's when I

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found that the shot is not as effective

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as oral naltrexone taken in a targeted

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00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:55,650
manner meaning one hour prior to the

271
00:09:59,540 --> 00:09:57,900
first drink of the day so here now by

272
00:10:02,240 --> 00:09:59,550
the time the pills arrived I had three

273
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:02,250
four months sobriety under my belt and I

274
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:04,020
was scared because what if I was one of

275
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:06,270
those tiny percentages of the people

276
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:07,740
that don't respond to an El Trek so and

277
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:09,240
I would go on a worse binge and maybe

278
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:11,730
die because the last one was so bad by

279
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:13,440
the way when you say arrived what do you

280
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:15,360
mean pills arrived I had to order them

281
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:18,360
at that point in 2009 there was there

282
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:19,770
were no doctors that would accept that

283
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:21,840
would give it to me my GP refused me

284
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:23,250
even without looking it up

285
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:25,140
he immediately presumed it was an opiate

286
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:27,120
a painkiller which is it is the

287
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:29,010
antithesis of that in fact if you're on

288
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:30,480
opiates and you take an opiate

289
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:31,800
antagonist you go into full withdrawal

290
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:33,960
so this is not good for people who are

291
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:36,660
on opiates currently if you're clean you

292
00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:38,280
can take no tracks on to stay off of

293
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:40,560
opiates so I asked mr. saris at ninety

294
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:45,930
nine 2009 2009 I asked my GP I asked

295
00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:47,640
another doctor everybody turned me down

296
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:49,500
so I went online and I just started

297
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:51,330
googling now Trek so I found an Indian

298
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:51,990
pharmacy

299
00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:54,270
I gave him my credit card but hold on

300
00:10:59,030 --> 00:10:55,980
this is stunning to me that you're

301
00:11:00,710 --> 00:10:59,040
talking to M DS medical doctors yes

302
00:11:02,150 --> 00:11:00,720
you're acknowledging to them which a lot

303
00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:02,160
of ya addicts don't like to acknowledge

304
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:03,200
that I have a proud

305
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:05,270
with alcohol there is a medication out

306
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:07,160
there called the track zone it's FDA

307
00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:09,680
approved since 1994 thank you very much

308
00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:12,020
for yeah to treat alcohol is great to

309
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:13,820
treat alcoholism and I said I want that

310
00:11:17,350 --> 00:11:15,890
medication for cravings and he said I

311
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:17,360
didn't even tell him I was wanted to do

312
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:18,650
the Sinclair method that I would drink

313
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:20,510
on it I said I just want it for cravings

314
00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:22,160
and he said never heard of it want you

315
00:11:28,630 --> 00:11:25,040
to stop drinking thank you so much Wow

316
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:28,640
helpful then so finally I ordered it and

317
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:30,410
I by the way do we know whether your

318
00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:32,000
insurance would have covered it if you

319
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:34,190
had my insurance does cover it now how

320
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:37,700
about then you know yes yes now trek

321
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:38,810
zone would have been covered by my

322
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:41,270
Screen Actors Guild insurance even back

323
00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:43,790
then so so and it said you ordered from

324
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:45,950
India hundreds of dollars and it took

325
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:48,650
forever took months it was the pills not

326
00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:51,200
the shot it was yeah the shot the shot

327
00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:52,780
doesn't allow you to do targeted

328
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:54,980
extinction because you can't target the

329
00:11:59,830 --> 00:11:56,930
alcohol because your nail track zone

330
00:12:01,480 --> 00:11:59,840
will be in your body 24/7 so I ordered

331
00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:01,490
the 50 milligram tablets they arrived

332
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:03,710
you know like two months later I had

333
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:05,630
this sobriety under my belt I got the

334
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:08,330
pills I bought a bottle of wine and I

335
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:10,760
made myself a meal and I prayed to God

336
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:12,830
that this would work and I took the pill

337
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:14,810
I waited an hour and I didn't even

338
00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:17,120
finish the glass of wine that was what I

339
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:20,780
now know as anecdotal evidence or

340
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:22,550
experience from all the people that I've

341
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:24,050
coached over the years is that is a

342
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:26,330
common reaction in the beginning now of

343
00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:27,710
course it doesn't necessarily mean that

344
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:29,060
within two weeks you're gonna stop

345
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:31,160
drinking my journey has had you know

346
00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:33,290
dips and valleys and all sorts of things

347
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:36,920
since 2009 when I finally knew that I

348
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:39,410
had that my brain had switched back to

349
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:41,870
normal was when I drove by a billboard I

350
00:12:46,270 --> 00:12:44,990
speak about it in my TEDx talk I there

351
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:46,280
was his billboard on Ventura Boulevard

352
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:48,290
that had a big glass of red wine on a

353
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:50,360
steak on it and every time I would drive

354
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:52,370
by it when I was sober I would be

355
00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:54,680
triggered to want to drink and when I

356
00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:56,600
was drinking I would be triggered to

357
00:13:02,140 --> 00:12:58,070
want to drink it was just a never-ending

358
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:02,150
reminder of my poison red wine and this

359
00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:03,860
time I drove by that billboard and my

360
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:05,780
brain just said that's the billboard and

361
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:07,190
that's after you've been taking an

362
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:09,650
attraction about four months yeah and

363
00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:11,000
that's when I knew my brain had I

364
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:12,320
literally pulled over and started to

365
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:14,060
weep because I realized my brain

366
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:16,040
I wasn't obsessing people also don't

367
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:16,610
quite on

368
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:19,850
standing ID as a kid I had OCD I was a

369
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:22,490
counter so I think I had the reference

370
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:24,680
to this current kind of compulsive

371
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:28,130
behavior I would count everything when

372
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:30,320
and I outgrew that well with with

373
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:34,130
alcohol even when you're abstinent

374
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:35,450
you're obsessed with it

375
00:13:39,490 --> 00:13:37,190
because you you're planning everything

376
00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:39,500
that's what that saying that I don't

377
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:42,560
like dry drunk or white knuckling it's

378
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:44,149
because even sitting in a meeting you're

379
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:46,070
thinking oh god you know just god I'm

380
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:48,410
dying you know going out to people with

381
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:50,089
people you say oh that guy's gonna drink

382
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:51,200
too much so I don't want to go out I'm

383
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:53,390
gonna stay home um you know oh I can't

384
00:13:58,030 --> 00:13:56,390
buy that rum raisin ice cream because

385
00:13:59,560 --> 00:13:58,040
it's gonna want to trigger me to do this

386
00:14:00,940 --> 00:13:59,570
oh I don't want to see these people

387
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:00,950
because they have a wine group it's

388
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:03,769
conscious it's like a radio in your it's

389
00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:05,899
the committee that constantly is telling

390
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:07,760
you even if you've been sober for some

391
00:14:11,829 --> 00:14:09,740
people for 40 years I've spoken to

392
00:14:13,389 --> 00:14:11,839
people who say that's why they say one

393
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:13,399
day at a time they wake up and they're

394
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:15,290
craving their their white knuckling

395
00:14:18,699 --> 00:14:17,000
through each day and they plan their

396
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:18,709
days accordingly I'm not gonna walk down

397
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:20,390
that aisle in the supermarket because

398
00:14:24,189 --> 00:14:22,339
that's where the booze is so that that

399
00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:24,199
to me didn't mean that I would be healed

400
00:14:28,329 --> 00:14:26,120
even if I was abstinent I knew that I

401
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:28,339
was miserable in my abstinence I'm here

402
00:14:32,319 --> 00:14:30,560
to ask you about the OCD because you

403
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:32,329
said at some point you kind of outgrew

404
00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:33,949
the OCD but I'm wondering did that then

405
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:36,740
morph perhaps into you know I find a lot

406
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:39,290
of coexisting issues with individuals

407
00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:41,930
with an alcohol use disorder I note that

408
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:43,699
a lot of women have eating disorders I

409
00:14:49,269 --> 00:14:46,850
was anorexic briefly in my teens and the

410
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:49,279
OCD a lot of us do I I treat a lot of

411
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:52,010
people with I help excuse me hon got a

412
00:14:57,519 --> 00:14:53,990
doctor I help a lot of people with

413
00:14:58,840 --> 00:14:57,529
bipolar manic depressive but so do you

414
00:15:01,810 --> 00:14:58,850
think were you self-medicating perhaps

415
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:01,820
with the alcohol on the no because that

416
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:03,740
was gone by the time I was about nine

417
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:05,750
and I didn't like I said I was a very

418
00:15:12,699 --> 00:15:08,560
light drinker alcohol didn't interest me

419
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:12,709
really until I started I was living with

420
00:15:15,430 --> 00:15:14,240
somebody who was a restaurateur and I

421
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:15,440
think that's when it started I started

422
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:17,600
to entertain more and be around it more

423
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:20,390
but I wasn't I I could take it or leave

424
00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:20,720
it

425
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:24,019
what is your theory as to how come you

426
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:26,300
got addicted to it I think I had the

427
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:28,870
genetic predisposition

428
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:31,270
position of course I mean my both sides

429
00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:34,330
of my family I definitely had the the

430
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:36,040
genetics and then I engaged in the

431
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:37,690
behavior and to me talked about Mike

432
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:39,160
Pond did that's definitely part of his

433
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:41,500
yeah and he did brain studies and so on

434
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:44,650
on himself and found these parts of the

435
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:47,170
brain that absolutely I believe that if

436
00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:49,240
you and also the other thing is I did

437
00:15:52,829 --> 00:15:51,220
taste alcohol before my brain was fully

438
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:52,839
developed and that is just a no-brainer

439
00:15:58,620 --> 00:15:56,110
right there if you're if you drink when

440
00:16:00,840 --> 00:15:58,630
you're also have done that 15 16 17

441
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:00,850
years well people with a genetic

442
00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:02,350
predisposition who engaged in the

443
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:04,660
behavior drinking before their brain is

444
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:07,060
fully developed around age 21 to 23

445
00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:10,120
they have like a 40% more chance of

446
00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:13,120
developing an AUD then it had they

447
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:16,240
waited till they were fully developed in

448
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:18,910
the brain so that is something that if

449
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:20,589
you have addiction in your family and

450
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:21,910
you have children I would certainly

451
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:24,130
encourage you to not have them drink in

452
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:25,870
their teens to really explain to them

453
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:28,390
look this is a crappy thing to happen to

454
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:30,610
you as an adult so if you can just you

455
00:16:34,949 --> 00:16:33,070
know hold off till the legal age 21 yeah

456
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:34,959
you know um yes the problem in this

457
00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:36,880
country the binge drinking that happens

458
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:39,880
at early age which I engaged in and so

459
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:41,440
many people do and then in college I

460
00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:43,300
mean you're 18 years old in college and

461
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:46,209
in these fraternities and so guess what

462
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:48,160
guess what it costs us every year two

463
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:51,150
hundred and fifty billion dollars

464
00:16:56,370 --> 00:16:53,740
alcohol misuse costs the United States

465
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:56,380
two hundred and fifty billion dollars

466
00:17:00,150 --> 00:16:57,970
and that's just a monetary number that's

467
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:00,160
not well we also have one in three

468
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:02,020
adults human element yeah one in three

469
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:04,480
adults that will develop an AUD and

470
00:17:08,309 --> 00:17:06,850
eighty eight thousand that will die 3.3

471
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:08,319
million people around the world die

472
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:11,470
yearly that's more than so many other

473
00:17:17,610 --> 00:17:14,740
diseases and and and yet it's constantly

474
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:17,620
brushed aside for whatever happens to be

475
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:19,390
in the news that day because alcohol is

476
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:22,750
legal it's everywhere and it is and

477
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:26,589
you're allowed to promote it and and the

478
00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:28,600
publicity campaigns make it look like if

479
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:30,190
you drink beer you're going to have

480
00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:32,110
really hot girlfriends and you're going

481
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:35,100
to be happy and successful and and

482
00:17:39,419 --> 00:17:37,540
jobless for if that was for fentanyl if

483
00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:39,429
they had if they had advertisements you

484
00:17:42,570 --> 00:17:41,080
know where people are like hey shoot it

485
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:42,580
up take fentanyl you

486
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:44,710
feel great I mean you know alcohol

487
00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:46,840
destroys lives on and and and I'm not

488
00:17:50,399 --> 00:17:48,580
saying and this is coming from somebody

489
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:50,409
who's who's in a harm reduction model

490
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:51,279
okay

491
00:17:56,549 --> 00:17:53,710
I'm not I'm not in an abstinence based

492
00:17:59,060 --> 00:17:56,559
sober based that's not what I advocate I